Excuse me, but aren’t horror movies supposed to be…horrifying? There are plenty of killings in Marcus Nispel’s FRIDAY THE 13th remake, but all of the victims seem to die in the same unimaginative way, as though a checklist were being marked off. And there’s little of the surrounding creepiness that made Nispel’s Chainsaw remake so unsettling. Plus, by now, yet one more go-round of the hoariest cliche in horrordom — bogeyman is alive! even though he “has” to be dead! — simply won’t do. It’s not scary or funny, just lame. — Jeff Schultz

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