What is CRITEXTS? A new high-fibre breakfast cereal? A floor wax? The latest “birther” tome that your kids will be reading in school? Sadly, it’s none of these.

Those in the “know” (and you know who you are. I see you out there trying to turn off your computer or click to a porn site), know it’s an incredibly useful movie review site.

Stormy, Jeff and Alan have brought you their own unique take on movies and TV shows through blissfully brief reviews. The original premise was a review no longer than a text message. A quick review that you could read in a minute and make an informed decision on how best to spend your entertainment dollar. No need to thank us. Consider it our contribution to the greater good (or the greater bad in the case of Valkyrie).

It’s been three years (really, I know it seems like more, but we swear it’s only 3). So now it’s time to “expand the brand” as the marketing experts would put it. We will still bring you the brief, thoughtful, funny (well, funny to us) reviews you know and love.

But starting in the next few weeks you’ll notice some longer reviews, reviews of music, art and books, and some commentary on the entertainment industry. Now we’re not going to talk about Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen or Snookie (unless they are in a movie together God help us!). This won’t be gossip. It’ll be the same thoughtful insight we’re known for in our reviews but now we’re going to comment on trends we see, decisions made by studios or artists, or whatever we feel like (to paraphrase David Brinkley, “Everyone’s entitled to our opinion). We also hope to post the latest movie trailers we can find. The hope is to make it one-stop shopping (well, shopping in the sense that we do all the work and you don’t pay a dime).

So enjoy the new and improved (we hope) CRITEXTS, and as always we welcome your comments, feedback, opinions, ridicule and scorn.

Stormy, Jeff and Alan