One of the best things about this not-quite-what-you-think-its-gonna-be movie is its co-star’s real name: Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje. (Remember back when we prided ourselves in mastering Gabourey Sidibe?) As for Adewale himself, his acting is as atrocious as everyone else’s in this mostly-dull-but-kindve-fun piece of cheese. The title and plot lead you to believe this’ll be a disaster movie. But you’ll blow your top before Vesuvius does, because it takes a geologic eon to get to the eruption. First we have to watch, like, 40 gladiator battles. See, it’s actually a sword-and-sandals picture, with a dash (or an ash) of disaster thrown in at the end when the volcano erupts and everybody (yeah, it’s a spoiler, so cover me in lava) dies. The final sequence is a lengthy crush-fest well enough done not to be laughable, but unremarkable. You get your money’s worth, but the director’s heart seems to lean to the metal clink of weapons and the blood of open combat. Tobacco store Indians are more expressive than the cast. With his Mr. Peabody voice and paycheck performance, Kiefer Sutherland will want to keep this one off his resume. And Jared Harris, who made us wish he hadn’t hanged himself in “Mad Men”, is barely there here. The love story/catastrophe intertwining has a real TITANIC-y feel, but Kit Harrington ain’t Leo and Emily Browning ain’t Kate. But I have to say I enjoyed some of it, at least for nostalgia’s sake, because this is the kind of movie (with less gore) that we used to go see on Saturdays at the Encino Theater. — Jeff Schultz

It cuts a lot of corners with too-easy setups and too-quick resolutions, and it hinges in part on a moth-eaten gay/AIDS plot turn, but the ways in which Judi Dench and Steve Coogan recreate this (quite real) encounter opened up my tear ducts. The story is told simply. (At times it seems like a made-for-TV movie.) But it’s gentle and humane and the two actors give it their all. Dench is so composed, her acting so invisible, it’s almost like a state of grace, which rather sums up her character as well. And Coogan — so exuberant in other roles, so comically daft — doesn’t so much dial it down here as simply bring his drama chops to the fore. They’re perfect together. Also worth mention: beautiful shots of Northern Ireland (checkerboard fields) and Washington D.C. (the Potomac) and a touching score. — Jeff Schultz

You wait all year for a movie like this, with its drop-dead cast and funny witty script, tied together by the ever-more-assured David O. Russell. Bradley Cooper shines brightest as the hard-charging man in charge, who doesn’t realize he’s in over his head. As fortunes turn throughout the film, Cooper rockets between victory and defeat in Oscar-worthy manner. The movie is a love story, a meditation on moral squishiness, a bit of a thriller, and overall, a set of remarkable characters. Jennifer Lawrence evolves completely into the nymphet wife who seems white-trashy at first, then surprises you with more than you thought was there; not for a moment do you think of Katniss Everdeen. Christian Bale and Amy Adams add further complexity: Bale’s combover is practically its own role, and Adams (who seems to be morphing into Kristen Wiig. or is it the other way around?) neatly keeps us guessing about her loyalty in the Bale-Cooper triangle she completes. De Niro turns up for one pretty juicy scene and the great Jack Jones graces the soundtrack with a snappy “I’ve Got Your Number”. (He’s on camera for about five seconds as the camera whirls by during a party scene.) In fact, all the songs seem to kick up the mood where they’re placed. A seriously entertaining movie. — Jeff Schultz

Yes, of course it’s bad. Horribly, awfully, undeniably bad. But does it rise to the level of so-bad-it’s-good? Not to me. Early in the game (that is, immediately), we see and hear that this is crap. Everyone in the cast is amateurish. The camera is usually in the wrong place (the extreme close ups are painful), editing is sloppy, with unstable tone and meaning that can change within a single sentence, etc. Seemingly the main joke is that lead actor/creator Tommy Wiseau is oblivious to how bad he is and is so earnestly shitty that the ludicrousness of it all earns our attention. Well, perhaps: I admit, I saw this at home by myself on DVD — not at one of the midnight, audience-participation screenings that have turned it into a cult fave. In that setting, people say it’s hilarious. Greg Sestero, who plays Wiseau’s rival in love, wrote a the-making-of book about the production which has been optioned by James Franco. Whatever meta-pretzel that turns into promises to be far more interesting than the real thing. — Jeff Schultz

Crazy good. A sharp, witty romp disguised as a movie for little kids. For proof, just listen the to theme song. “Everything is Awesome” is an infectious, upbeat piece of pop candy you can’t get out of your head. But its feel-good effect is belied by the lyrics, which lampoon the current trope in daily conversation of everything being “awesome” be it good or bad, trivial or important. A pretty sophisticated comic concept in a movie based on toy blocks sold “for ages 4 and up”! (The song comes partly from the people of “Lonely Island”, Andy Samberg’s “Funny or Die”.) This little comic rocketship belongs in the good company of animated winners like “Wreck-It Ralph”, “The Fantastic Mr. Fox” and “Team America”, with blow-your-mind design (on a relatively small budget) and brains and heart. The movie hits so many adult notes in the first three-quarters that we not only accept, but welcome when it goes soft at the end with a clever mirror image that explains the story. Easily worth a second visit to catch the lines you missed. Go! (But put the cap on the KraGle first!) — Jeff Schultz

I had huge expectations for THE MONUMENTS MEN based on a bunch of elements. George Clooney co-wrote and directed it. The cast is great. It’s about a little known history of World War II. I guess I learned not to raise my hopes. It’s not that this is a bad movie. it has some very interesting parts. A couple of scenes featuring Cate Blanchett and Matt Damon are quite good. It just feels kind of thrown together. The story is about seven art historians/collectors/architects/sculptors who are tasked with saving the cultural treasures of Europe from the Nazis. Clooney leads this band of non-soldiers as they race to the front to carry out their mission. See, the potential for a good story is there. But, it never all comes together. It never drew me in. It’s not that I didn’t care. The subject matter makes you care by default. I just never felt involved. I mean you’ve got Bill Murray, Bob Balaban, John Goodman, Jean Dujardin, Hugh Bonneville, Clooney, Damon and Blanchett. Each has a unique voice in film. Those voices are silenced here. Anyone could have played these roles. There’s nothing special or unique. Even reveals about what the Nazis did to the Jews and their possessions are passionless statements of fact. And the score comes in a little too brightly at the exact wrong time, distracting what should be heavy scenes and making them feel lighter. An interesting lesson in history, but frankly I’d rather read about it in the book the movie was based on. THE MONUMENTS MEN are less interesting than the art they are chasing. Too bad, because this should have been much better. — Alan Yudman