The phrase is meaningless other than a line of dialogue that comes out of nowhere toward the end, but if only “the quiet ones” had spoken up! They could have warned me away from this turd. A movie that’s supposed to keep us guessing, it’s also one that we don't give a shit about either … Continue reading THE QUIET ONES

The funniest scene in A HAUNTED HOUSE 2 is exactly the same as the funniest scene in A HAUNTED HOUSE — except that instead of Marlon Wayons pleasuring himself sexually in every imaginable way (and a few unimaginable ways) with a stuffed animal, in the new movie it’s an evil doll. Either way, the sheer … Continue reading A HAUNTED HOUSE 2

A lot of people might be scared away by DRAFT DAY. Some women because it deals with football. Everyone because it stars Kevin Costner. But, don't let either keep you from this film. Costner is the general manager of the Cleveland Browns. The team is where the Browns typically reside.. at or near the bottom … Continue reading DRAFT DAY

Oculus Schlockulus. Can anyone even remember the last time they saw a “scary movie” that actually scared them? This movie goes about its business seriously, weaving together two parallel stories 11 years apart. The acting is decent (including Rory Cochrane, star of the far superior RIGHT AT YOUR DOOR). There are no howlers in the … Continue reading OCULUS

After watching CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER I realize what is wrong with a lot of these comic book movies. Stop me if you've heard this before. Most are bunch of cool EFX set pieces tied together very loosely by a thin plot. Ok, don't stop me because it is totally reasonable. I came to … Continue reading CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER

From the same people who brought you the hilarious, Oscar nominated IN THE LOOP comes a film that is nearly has hysterical. Steve Coogan is Alan Partridge. For those not familiar (and why aren’t you?), Alan hosted the “chat show” “Knowing Me, Knowing You… with Alan Partridge” on British television. He was often inappropriate, clueless … Continue reading ALAN PARTRIDGE

It got under my skin all right; I was itching for it to be over. No question there are some startlingly creepy-gorgeous sequences, the best of which shows what happens to those trapped in ScarJo’s underwater “graveyard” — it’s claustrophobic and frightening and ultimately just a dazzling use of form and light. Also, a glittering, … Continue reading UNDER THE SKIN

I have been getting into music documentaries of late. I seen and reviewed Sound City and It Might Get Loud. 20 FEET FROM STARDOM and MUSCLE SHOALS are of the same vein. Documentaries that are not about one band, but about a sound or a time and place that played an iconic part in the … Continue reading 20 FEET FROM STARDOM / MUSCLE SHOALS