ouija posterNothing unexpected, nothing frightening, nothing that deviates from the formula. A 90-minute time-waster from the many-entried horror sub-category of sequentially-dying teens, this one is quite literally “product” since its very reason for existing is a product — Hasbro’s venerable Ouija board, patented in 1891 and still sold today. The set-up has the movie’s one good shocker, involving a string of Christmas-y lights. After that, the four unimpressive leads attempt to plumb a troubling suicide with further fatal results. By the time Lin Shaye (where would these movies be without her?) shows up you may laugh, because you’ll have just seen her in the trailer for INSIDIOUS 3. (The Friday my friend Anthony and I saw it, there was also a NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET marathon up the street — with still moreLin Shaye!) Like the FINAL DESTINATION series, you judge a movie like this on how creatively the kids die, and here the snuffings do not impress. One is sort of vaporized and another kind of turns to stone, two “special effects” that probably didn’t excess the craft services budget. Overall, I wasn’t OUIJA-bored, but I’ve already forgotten about it. — Jeff Schultz



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