by Alan Yudman
ZOOLANDER wasn’t a “great” movie. It was fun, entertaining with a weird premise that worked because of Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson. ZOOLANDER 2 is not unique, and as a result it is no longer that funny. Sure, there are some funny moments, but nothing that has stuck with me. The montage intended to catch us up on where Derek is now flies by too fast to keep track. I’m not going to call this a spoiler alert because how can you spoil a rotten egg, but timing the building collapse that killed Matilda (Derek’s wife and mother of Derek Jr) about a month after 9/11 seemed an awkward decision that made me cringe a bit. Penelope Cruz is gorgeous and can do good work (Vicki Cristina Barcelona) but not here. The jokes are stale. We get it, Derek is stupid and Hansel is obsessed with sex. Even a ton of cameos from fashion designers like Tommy Hilfiger and the “Wangs” can’t save this. Even Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig seem bored. Kyle Mooney was the most entertaining, but he’s playing the young annoying hipster we’ve seen him do on Saturday Night Live. Not even watching Justin Bieber get murdered outside of Sting’s house (yes, Sting is in this too) gives you a catharsis. Not that watching anyone get shot 100 times is ever enjoyable, but it’s Bieber. Stiller should have left well enough alone. Sometimes one Zoolander is more than enough.