— by Jeff Schultz

If the title refers to the audience, it’s wishful thinking, because no one is going to flock to (or stream — I saw it on Amazon) this comedy-horror thriller, which is too unfunny to be a comedy, lacks anything horrific and is absent of thrills. The reality TV show premise (and the POV cameras that spring from it) is staler than a week-old scone, the acting includes a key role performed so amateurishly (by Carrie Genzel) you pray (unsuccessfully) for her early demise, and worst of all in this 95-minute bowl of slop, virtually nothing happens for the entire first hour and the only real action comes in the final ten minutes, when low-budget special effects that look like they come from a gag gift novelty store lead to a final line of dialogue meant to be funny, but is instead just embarrassing. Nothing more needs to be said.

— by Jeff Schultz

E.T. reimagined as a chase film. For much of it, the unsettling tension — punctuated by at least three unexpected eruptions — keeps us on edge. It’s built around the abduction from a religious cult of an eight-year-old boy by his father. But neither the cult nor Federal investigators, both working frantically to find the boy, quite know what they’re dealing with — and only gradually is it revealed to the audience. We know the boy has some kind of supernatural power, but not from whence it came until toward the end, when you can see what’s coming because Spielberg has already taken us there. (Twice, actually: there’s a big dollop of CLOSE ENCOUNTERS here, too.) There are fine turns from Michael Shannon (the father), Joel Edgerton (his close friend) and in a smaller role as the cult leader, Sam Shepard. Kirsten Dunst has less to do, but does her best, along with the rest of a lesser-known cast, among whom Adam Driver and Bill Camp should be singled out, and not only for their arresting faces. Plus the boy, Jaeden Lieberher, is a natural whose underplaying effectively emphasizes his other-worldliness. The movie goes on too long, and the big effect at the end is more visually striking than sense-making, but worth seeing for sure

— by Jeff Schultz

Painfully unfunny and ultimately uncomfortable, with just a few exceptions. Yes, I laughed helplessly during a long gag with a deflating balloon. Yes, I did the same during that old contract-signing bit (“Sign here. And here. And here. And…. etc.”) Yes, Pee-Wee’s early scenes with Joe Manganiello are fun. But their friendship, which fuels Pee-Wee’s brave decision to leave his small town and see the world, devolves into a kind of icky, un-spelled-out homoerotic buddy pairing that doesn’t work on any level. Road movies are only as good as their individual segments and the people cast in them, and neither a trio of sexpot bank robbers, nor a farmer and his nine daughters, nor a community of Amish, nor anyone else is funny or captivating enough. By the time of the movie’s biggest misfire — a musical number that both pays homage to and pokes fun at breathless salutes to New York City — you’ll be grabbing the remote to see how much is left to go. Whatever we loved about Pee-Wee Herman in the 80’s seems now either un-recapturable or stale. I admit I didn’t do my “homework” and watch the Tim Burton original. But for whatever reason, this is not an especially welcome return.

— by Jeff Schultz
Let us stipulate at the outset that even though it’s only March, John Goodman must surely have a lock on one of next year’s Best Actor nominations. He’s that good in this very fine thriller, which producer J.J. Abrams has said contains the original CLOVERFIELD’s DNA — even though it is a somewhat different type of film. Author Joseph Heller famously observed that just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you — which is a fitting description of what’s going on here. More than three-quarters of the way through, we’re still not certain if we’re dealing with a psycho kidnapper or a survivalist canny enough to have prepared for a genuine apocalypse. I don’t want to give away too much here, because that mystery IS the movie, which should be seen with as little foreknowledge as possible. And if the denouement does not quite live up to the impossibly high bar set by the original (IMHO one of the greatest movies ever) — if, say, Paramount talked the filmmakers out of another nihilistic ending like the one that made the first CLOVERFIELD such a gut punch — still, there hasn’t been anything this gripping in a while. Which brings us back to Goodman, who from the moment he first appears looks, sounds and acts like someone you just don’t fuck with, keeping your heart racing throughout because you cannot escape him.

— by Jeff Schultz

Delicious. Yes, it’s primarily a profile of L.A. Times food critic Jonathan Gold, the first such writer to ever win a Pulitzer Prize. But the documentary’s co-subject is Los Angeles itself and the marvelous ways Gold evokes our megalopolis through its chow. If you’re familiar with Gold’s reviews, you know him as the most democratic of gourmands — a man for whom a taco truck, a mini mall, or a hole in the wall is more likely to yield taste bud heaven than the usual temples of fine dining that were once the sole purview of newspaper restaurant writing. That, coupled with his shy yet open and amiable personality, makes him a perfect guide as he cruises in his Dodge truck from the San Gabriel Valley to Koreatown, Alhambra to Hollywood, and anywhere else where there’s something exciting to be found on a plate. By the time the movie ends, we’re not only hungry, we’ve also gained a new way to define the city, summed up beautifully at the end in an elegiac reading (at Skylight Books) by Gold from one of his lovelier pieces.

by Alan Yudman

I’ve seen this all over Facebook today. Sony has released the first trailer for the new Ghostbusters movie. And it is all kind of nostalgic.

I’ve also seen plenty of people complain about it. It’s not funny. Leslie Jones sucks. And other comments.

People!!! Chill. I actually would have hated it if this was over the top hilarious. That would have worried me. I would have wondered, “did they put all the funniest stuff in the trailer”? So it’s kind of a relief that it is simply an exercise in nostalgia.

I think the cast is great, or will be. This will be Leslie Jones breakout role. I love her on Saturday Night live. Her weekend update segments about dating are one of my favorite things.

Plus, CAMEOS!! Paul Feig said members of the original cast will appear in the new movie, but not in the same roles. This is a reboot. Not a sequel. If anyone can pull it off, Feig can.

So let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s just soak ourselves in nostalgia and enjoy.