Let’s begin with what annoyed me. The use of the framing device of Old Tonto telling the story to the little kid at the carnival. The fact that the movie is almost 2 hours and 30 minutes. The fact that this is more about Tonto than the Lone Ranger. It’s just so disappointing on so many levels. The constant shifts in tone made my head spin. Is the Ranger a buffoon? Is he a hero? Is Tonto really the hero here? Is this a action adventure western or a comedy? Or is it both and neither at the same time. As you can see, I have a lot of questions and not many answers. And that’s really bad when the movie is, as I said, 2:25 minutes long. The movie seems less about telling what isn’t a bad story of a Texas Ranger thought to be dead who then seeks justice in the old west from behind a mask, than it is about giving Johnny Depp another Jack Sparrow-like character to play around with. Armie Hammer isn’t bad, but it’s hard to tell because he seems to be the straight man for Depp’s one liners. The set pieces are pretty well staged, but there again, when Verbinski brings in the classic William Tell Overture, it seems forced and gimmicky and cringe-worthy. I don’t mind retelling classic hero myths in a new way. But this retelling is more reinventing. And it doesn’t work at all. So what did I like about THE LONE RANGER? Um, not much. — Alan Yudman

Stormy Curry